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Guy:
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
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Me:
No, but I did scrape my knees when I crawled up from hell.
I remember on my 4th grade field trip my class was standing on a hill and my teacher said “lets roll out” and I was like oh ok so I stared rolling down the hill and I had to hold my teachers hand for the rest of the day
(via supernovaqirl)
today in theater someone asked my friend if he was pro gay and he was like “im not pro gay but im not amateur gay either”
(via zackisontumblr)
nayx:
if there are humans on another planet we gotta pretend that we’re all named Carl when we meet them. we need to troll them hard
(via jesuschristvevo)
(Source: electropunkopera, via mermaidwithblunts)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
wow. it’s hard to believe that the number on the back of every sports jersey is the amount of people each player has murdered
(via zackisontumblr)
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Today i saw a bench that looked like it was supposed to be a really cool art piece but on further inspection had just been hit by a car
(via ohio-is4-lovers)
—when i learned how to take my bra off w/out taking off my shirt my life was completely changed
(via tr3ndyc00l)
if you want to kill someone stab them with an icicle because the icicle will melt and then there will be no murder weapon
(Source: katorade27, via zackisontumblr)
sometimes i feel like i dont really have a best friend anymore i feel very disconnected and sad
I'm Angelhaven.
